I went to the gym today. Me, Britney, Fergie and Paramore rocked it out for almost an hour. Boy it felt good.
I see the light. The light, fluid feeling my body has when I move it on a regular basis. I was getting nervous about gaining weight back, even though my clothes weren't getting tighter. I think it was the bloat and heaviness I feel when I don't move enough and when I choose the wrong foods.
I stopped the extra carbs a couple weeks ago. But it's so funny how one visit to the gym can restart the fire in me. I feel the light in me today!!
My next goal = another size down!
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Making Substitutions
The other morning, after seeing my daughter to the school bus, I came back to the kitchen to make my favorite morning must-have - coffee. I have an awesome Bunn coffee maker that makes one cup at a time using a pod system. So good and fresh - can't live without it.
I opened the fridge and saw that I had NO CREAM for my coffee. This is a serious infraction made by the chief shopper of the house. Me.
In this situation there are only two options and both require me leaving the house before coffee. Not recommended.
I remembered I had a container of Coffee Mate powder stuff. I'm not sure why I even have it, because that stuff is not going anywhere near my coffee ........ unless I'm really desperate.
SIDEBAR**********My very first "office job" involved Coffee Mate powder. I was about 20 or so and had to answer phones until 8 p.m., which included maintaining the lobby and cleaning up at the end of the night. There was a small kitchen off the lobby which housed the coffee maker and all the necessary accoutrement - very large pourable sugar and Coffee Mate. (Someone would inevitably take the last cup of coffee from the pot and return it to it's little hot spot in the machine. Slowly, over the span of a few hours, the small amount of leftover coffee would cook and eventually burn. It left a horrible smell, but you wouldn't realize it until it was too late.)**********END OF SIDEBAR
And I was desperate. I was also shocked at how much I liked it. I looked at the nutrition label and saw how low in calories and fat it is. Again, shocked. 10 calories and .5 gram of fat per teaspoon. I use about four teaspoons so that's 40 calories and 2 grams of fat. A HUGE improvement over the half and half I was using before.
The other change I made recently was something I saw on the Rachel Ray show. There was a segment on making better choices at the grocery store to help you eat healthier.
A small Asian woman was ambushed and her shopping cart was raided. She had like seven pounds of butter down in her cart. And Paula Deen was nowhere in sight!
The solution to all that butter? Brummel and Brown. It's a wholesome alternative to margarine. It's made with yogurt. So I started using that on my protein-plus whole-grain bread option in the morning. It's pretty good.
I also bought a new magazine at checkout - Clean Eating. I'll let you know what other tips I find!
I opened the fridge and saw that I had NO CREAM for my coffee. This is a serious infraction made by the chief shopper of the house. Me.
In this situation there are only two options and both require me leaving the house before coffee. Not recommended.
I remembered I had a container of Coffee Mate powder stuff. I'm not sure why I even have it, because that stuff is not going anywhere near my coffee ........ unless I'm really desperate.
SIDEBAR**********My very first "office job" involved Coffee Mate powder. I was about 20 or so and had to answer phones until 8 p.m., which included maintaining the lobby and cleaning up at the end of the night. There was a small kitchen off the lobby which housed the coffee maker and all the necessary accoutrement - very large pourable sugar and Coffee Mate. (Someone would inevitably take the last cup of coffee from the pot and return it to it's little hot spot in the machine. Slowly, over the span of a few hours, the small amount of leftover coffee would cook and eventually burn. It left a horrible smell, but you wouldn't realize it until it was too late.)**********END OF SIDEBAR
And I was desperate. I was also shocked at how much I liked it. I looked at the nutrition label and saw how low in calories and fat it is. Again, shocked. 10 calories and .5 gram of fat per teaspoon. I use about four teaspoons so that's 40 calories and 2 grams of fat. A HUGE improvement over the half and half I was using before.
The other change I made recently was something I saw on the Rachel Ray show. There was a segment on making better choices at the grocery store to help you eat healthier.
A small Asian woman was ambushed and her shopping cart was raided. She had like seven pounds of butter down in her cart. And Paula Deen was nowhere in sight!
The solution to all that butter? Brummel and Brown. It's a wholesome alternative to margarine. It's made with yogurt. So I started using that on my protein-plus whole-grain bread option in the morning. It's pretty good.
I also bought a new magazine at checkout - Clean Eating. I'll let you know what other tips I find!
Monday, October 19, 2009
avoidance as a coping mechanism
Just to be clear, I am not talking about avoiding getting in shape, eating right and the like.
I'm talking about avoiding the topic of "If you have a blog you should write in it!" It's been a while. Blah, blah, blah. Avoidance accomplished.
SO, I've been living in my new body for a while now and I'm enjoying all the things that come with it. Like, easier fitting clothes, better self esteem, eating foods that don't give me horrible symptoms, etc.
BUT, it's time to kick it up a notch. I am no where near my final goal. What am I gonna do about it?
Well, first I'm going to get to the gym at least three times this week. I need to promise myself that or it will not happen. I had to break up with my BFF due to funds so it's hard to stay committed. With Heather, I felt committed to her and not wasting her time. So there's a struggle. But I can do it.
Eating goes back and forth. I get a little cocky and think, "Hey, I can eat that!" When really, yes, I can eat that, BUT it's going to cost me. The highest price I pay for eating my enemy (empty carbs)? The pull and tug they have on me. Once I start, I can't stop and then I find myself on the roller coaster of eating empty calories and never getting satisfied.
Protein is my friend. As long as I stay off carbs and eat protein when I'm hungry, I'm good.
I'm talking about avoiding the topic of "If you have a blog you should write in it!" It's been a while. Blah, blah, blah. Avoidance accomplished.
SO, I've been living in my new body for a while now and I'm enjoying all the things that come with it. Like, easier fitting clothes, better self esteem, eating foods that don't give me horrible symptoms, etc.
BUT, it's time to kick it up a notch. I am no where near my final goal. What am I gonna do about it?
Well, first I'm going to get to the gym at least three times this week. I need to promise myself that or it will not happen. I had to break up with my BFF due to funds so it's hard to stay committed. With Heather, I felt committed to her and not wasting her time. So there's a struggle. But I can do it.
Eating goes back and forth. I get a little cocky and think, "Hey, I can eat that!" When really, yes, I can eat that, BUT it's going to cost me. The highest price I pay for eating my enemy (empty carbs)? The pull and tug they have on me. Once I start, I can't stop and then I find myself on the roller coaster of eating empty calories and never getting satisfied.
Protein is my friend. As long as I stay off carbs and eat protein when I'm hungry, I'm good.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
measuring down
So there I was, getting ready for bed, when I caught a glimpse in the mirror. Soon after, I also caught myself posing, sucking in and checking the rear view. Did you know that if you raise your arms up high, your torso looks slimmer? Yep. Figured that out while applying deodorant one day. And now I impart that sweet gem unto you. I know. I'm a giver.
So many times before I've thought I looked smaller, only to later conclude that no, no Deanna, you are the same. But this time, I felt compelled to whip out the measuring tape. I got out my journal that has my original measurements listed in it. I wrapped that thin tape around the vital points.
I started with the thinnest part of my waist. I felt tears well up as I re-measured to make sure I didn't make a mistake. Three and a half inches off my waist! That's some serious de-bulging right there.
Next up, the thigh. Shockingly, (I mean I was shocked!) another three and a half inches, gone! On ONE thigh! I still can't believe it.
I continued to measure and did the math. I lost a total of 11.75" of yucky, wiggly, fatty, bulk off my body.
All this is due to my personal trainer, Heather. I love her and if she was physically right there with me, I would have given her a big kiss. But she was there with me - in spirit. When I did the final math, she was the first person I thought of. She is going to be so happy with what we did.
I also lost another two pounds. After the measuring, I knew the scale had to follow suit.
There's still more to go. But finally I feel like just an overweight person - not a fatty blob of a person. Yay me!
So many times before I've thought I looked smaller, only to later conclude that no, no Deanna, you are the same. But this time, I felt compelled to whip out the measuring tape. I got out my journal that has my original measurements listed in it. I wrapped that thin tape around the vital points.
I started with the thinnest part of my waist. I felt tears well up as I re-measured to make sure I didn't make a mistake. Three and a half inches off my waist! That's some serious de-bulging right there.
Next up, the thigh. Shockingly, (I mean I was shocked!) another three and a half inches, gone! On ONE thigh! I still can't believe it.
I continued to measure and did the math. I lost a total of 11.75" of yucky, wiggly, fatty, bulk off my body.
All this is due to my personal trainer, Heather. I love her and if she was physically right there with me, I would have given her a big kiss. But she was there with me - in spirit. When I did the final math, she was the first person I thought of. She is going to be so happy with what we did.
I also lost another two pounds. After the measuring, I knew the scale had to follow suit.
There's still more to go. But finally I feel like just an overweight person - not a fatty blob of a person. Yay me!
Sunday, July 12, 2009
journey to fit - day 112
HEAD ISSUES
So this is the 112th day of my conscious effort to get in shape. I've had some ups and some downs, but I am always moving forward.
I recently weighed myself and lost another two pounds. Between my clothes and comments made by others, I feel like I should have lost more than five pounds. But I know these things take time!
When you look at TV shows like The Biggest Loser or Dance Your Ass Off, the contestants lose five pounds in one week! That can make me feel like a loser of a different kind.
But when you look at someone like Valerie Bertinelli - or my friend who has lost, I think, 70 pounds - it's clear, when you do it right, it takes one or two years to get your body, mind and soul where you want it.
FOOD ISSUES
Ugh. Food. Lately I am so disgusted with food. I bought some fresh cod at BJ's and it looked so good. The next day, I took it out to make dinner and there was a long, white, worm in the package. SO GROSS!!!
Not only did I have to do some fast thinking to make something else (we ate at 7pm that night), but I also have to leave it in my fridge until I can bring it back to the store that's like four towns away. Every time I open the fridge I feel like I'm harboring a sickening entity!
Then yesterday, I was working at an art show all day. I brought two cheese sticks, three waters, a multi-grain bagel and a protein bar. Let's just say the outdoor (hot) air, the meeting and greeting and the constant standing, took a lot out of me. At about 2:30 pm I was so hungry. I rushed to get a bite at a nearby booth and the best choice was Chinese. It was a small plate of noodles, dumplings and chicken. I was up all night with a stomach ache that almost made me late for church this morning.
Now, I don't want to eat anything. Like I said, "ugh."
So this is the 112th day of my conscious effort to get in shape. I've had some ups and some downs, but I am always moving forward.
I recently weighed myself and lost another two pounds. Between my clothes and comments made by others, I feel like I should have lost more than five pounds. But I know these things take time!
When you look at TV shows like The Biggest Loser or Dance Your Ass Off, the contestants lose five pounds in one week! That can make me feel like a loser of a different kind.
But when you look at someone like Valerie Bertinelli - or my friend who has lost, I think, 70 pounds - it's clear, when you do it right, it takes one or two years to get your body, mind and soul where you want it.
FOOD ISSUES
Ugh. Food. Lately I am so disgusted with food. I bought some fresh cod at BJ's and it looked so good. The next day, I took it out to make dinner and there was a long, white, worm in the package. SO GROSS!!!
Not only did I have to do some fast thinking to make something else (we ate at 7pm that night), but I also have to leave it in my fridge until I can bring it back to the store that's like four towns away. Every time I open the fridge I feel like I'm harboring a sickening entity!
Then yesterday, I was working at an art show all day. I brought two cheese sticks, three waters, a multi-grain bagel and a protein bar. Let's just say the outdoor (hot) air, the meeting and greeting and the constant standing, took a lot out of me. At about 2:30 pm I was so hungry. I rushed to get a bite at a nearby booth and the best choice was Chinese. It was a small plate of noodles, dumplings and chicken. I was up all night with a stomach ache that almost made me late for church this morning.
Now, I don't want to eat anything. Like I said, "ugh."
Sunday, July 5, 2009
journey to fit - day 105
Today I took a little pressure off myself by changing my blog name from Blog-a-Day to Journey to Fit.
In the beginning, it was easy to blog everyday because I was going through such a big transition. Now, I am in the groove and I know what to expect, so it can become repetitive to write about what's going on.
So, where am I now? I haven't written in a month and not a ton has changed.
My heart palpitations still occur. But I have a great doctor who is working to help me figure it out. May turn out to be nothing. In fact, more than likely, it's something that I will have to live with.
My workouts rock! I love love love my trainer. Heather is really teaching me a lot about the different exercises and she's got me doing some workouts by myself. The only thing that is hard, is the cost. Each week, the money just sort of shows up from here or there. But lately I feel like I've tapped out my sources. To help save for vacation, we've halted spending on a lot of things. Hopefully, it won't come to that!
My diet could use some help. Again, trying to save money is not exactly conducive to eating well. Fresh food costs so much more, not to mention the fact that the cost of groceries, in general, has increased over the past year.
It's a slow road to get me fit. I'm not seeing a great decrease on the scale and that's not easy. I need to see that to be inspired and stay inspired. But on the other hand, my clothes fit better, I buy a size smaller, my muscles are toned and the wiggly parts are not as wiggly!
Next month, I will see a bunch of old classmates and I'm looking forward to it but I'm also nervous. I was never an overweight type. I'm afraid of being judged and of shutting down because of being embarrassed. Sometimes I think I'll just bow out at the last minute and other times I feel confident in who I am (and that doesn't include the size seven body that I used to be.)
Bottom line: I'm keeping on this journey and I'm not giving up.
In the beginning, it was easy to blog everyday because I was going through such a big transition. Now, I am in the groove and I know what to expect, so it can become repetitive to write about what's going on.
So, where am I now? I haven't written in a month and not a ton has changed.
My heart palpitations still occur. But I have a great doctor who is working to help me figure it out. May turn out to be nothing. In fact, more than likely, it's something that I will have to live with.
My workouts rock! I love love love my trainer. Heather is really teaching me a lot about the different exercises and she's got me doing some workouts by myself. The only thing that is hard, is the cost. Each week, the money just sort of shows up from here or there. But lately I feel like I've tapped out my sources. To help save for vacation, we've halted spending on a lot of things. Hopefully, it won't come to that!
My diet could use some help. Again, trying to save money is not exactly conducive to eating well. Fresh food costs so much more, not to mention the fact that the cost of groceries, in general, has increased over the past year.
It's a slow road to get me fit. I'm not seeing a great decrease on the scale and that's not easy. I need to see that to be inspired and stay inspired. But on the other hand, my clothes fit better, I buy a size smaller, my muscles are toned and the wiggly parts are not as wiggly!
Next month, I will see a bunch of old classmates and I'm looking forward to it but I'm also nervous. I was never an overweight type. I'm afraid of being judged and of shutting down because of being embarrassed. Sometimes I think I'll just bow out at the last minute and other times I feel confident in who I am (and that doesn't include the size seven body that I used to be.)
Bottom line: I'm keeping on this journey and I'm not giving up.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
journey to fit - day 69-73
Phewf. I think I am finally in the clear. May was Mother's day brunch, 10th year wedding anniversary, baseball tournament, dance recital (rehearsal, dinner, etc.), first communion (dinner, decorations, etc.) and a gallery opening. Wow.
Needless to say, things have been off kilter. Try as I may, diet and exercise suffered greatly. I know I didn't gain any weight, but I just didn't progress as much as I would have had I fully concentrated on me.
It seems selfish to use squeeze out any of the aforementioned activities so I can work on me. Time flew by and when I did have a spare moment, I was too tired to think for myself.
I ate some foods I shouldn't have, but truly did not overeat. I've had all kinds of sweet and savory goodies at my disposal and I am proud to say that I let it sit there and even sometimes threw it out. I gave in to McDonald's when time did not permit any other choice - but I ate off the dollar menu, which is smaller sized.
I continued with my high protein and smart carb choices and just an all-around better mindset.
My exercise suffered also, although I didn't stop completely. Still did boot camp and worked with Heather whenever possible.
I'm glad I can get back on track now and I really did miss the intensity I was building up to.
My heart is still a problem for me, but the doctor (this morning) said I should not worry about it - he's going to exhaust all avenues to try and figure out why all of the sudden I have palpitations.
I'm going to stop now and say a prayer that God will help me be strong and stay on course!
Needless to say, things have been off kilter. Try as I may, diet and exercise suffered greatly. I know I didn't gain any weight, but I just didn't progress as much as I would have had I fully concentrated on me.
It seems selfish to use squeeze out any of the aforementioned activities so I can work on me. Time flew by and when I did have a spare moment, I was too tired to think for myself.
I ate some foods I shouldn't have, but truly did not overeat. I've had all kinds of sweet and savory goodies at my disposal and I am proud to say that I let it sit there and even sometimes threw it out. I gave in to McDonald's when time did not permit any other choice - but I ate off the dollar menu, which is smaller sized.
I continued with my high protein and smart carb choices and just an all-around better mindset.
My exercise suffered also, although I didn't stop completely. Still did boot camp and worked with Heather whenever possible.
I'm glad I can get back on track now and I really did miss the intensity I was building up to.
My heart is still a problem for me, but the doctor (this morning) said I should not worry about it - he's going to exhaust all avenues to try and figure out why all of the sudden I have palpitations.
I'm going to stop now and say a prayer that God will help me be strong and stay on course!
Friday, May 29, 2009
journey to fit - day 67 and 68
I'm still trying! That's all I can say right now. Too busy to write more (or think).
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
journey to fit - day 66
Boot camp this morning was so hard. I'll work on my own this week at the gym and pick up with Heather per usual next week.
I wish my heart/breathing would allow me to work as hard as my mind/body wants me to.
I wish my heart/breathing would allow me to work as hard as my mind/body wants me to.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
journey to fit - day 64 and 65
Focus. FOcus. FOCUS!
Like when your beloved is telling you (in excruciating detail) about his day at work, which involves all kinds of computer-technical-geekazoid lingo and you really want to know how his day was, but the uncommon words and the monotone voice will most certainly send you down the path of no return - the path that is lined with one inner-monologue after another, like, wow, he's getting a lot of gray hairs, and, how will I get two kids in two places at the same time tomorrow after school, and, who is that girl I saw at the grocery store yesterday, and ooo, the Food Network is on!
It is hard to focus on what I need to do when I am constantly being sidetracked and distracted. I said this is a crazy month and it's not over yet!
One thing I always used to do is say, okay, after this event or that date, I'll really concentrate on my fitness. I HATE that it's turning into that situation again. I must stop the insanity! (Susan Powter reference).
I need to slow down, refocus, and concentrate - even if it means closing my eyes tight and humming: la, la, la, la, la, so nothing gets in my brain that doesn't belong there!
Like when your beloved is telling you (in excruciating detail) about his day at work, which involves all kinds of computer-technical-geekazoid lingo and you really want to know how his day was, but the uncommon words and the monotone voice will most certainly send you down the path of no return - the path that is lined with one inner-monologue after another, like, wow, he's getting a lot of gray hairs, and, how will I get two kids in two places at the same time tomorrow after school, and, who is that girl I saw at the grocery store yesterday, and ooo, the Food Network is on!
It is hard to focus on what I need to do when I am constantly being sidetracked and distracted. I said this is a crazy month and it's not over yet!
One thing I always used to do is say, okay, after this event or that date, I'll really concentrate on my fitness. I HATE that it's turning into that situation again. I must stop the insanity! (Susan Powter reference).
I need to slow down, refocus, and concentrate - even if it means closing my eyes tight and humming: la, la, la, la, la, so nothing gets in my brain that doesn't belong there!
Monday, May 25, 2009
journey to fit - day 62 and 63
VERY busy weekend. Trying to keep on track food-wise, despite all the festive activities. Not doing too bad!!
Last worked out on Friday - did my shoulders and chest and cardio all by myself at the gym.
This week starts a fierce smackdown against the scale. I will weigh-in on the 16th so that's two weeks to work extra hard!!
Last worked out on Friday - did my shoulders and chest and cardio all by myself at the gym.
This week starts a fierce smackdown against the scale. I will weigh-in on the 16th so that's two weeks to work extra hard!!
Friday, May 22, 2009
journey to fit - day 61
Today is my 10-year wedding anniversary. I am married to my best friend. We know each other extremely well and we love each other (beyond words) anyway. My husband has always accepted me for who I am. I am messy (I hate to clean). I sometimes let piles (of mail, laundry, school papers) rule our world.
And I struggle with my weight. No matter what the scale reads, he always hugs me and tells me I am beautiful.
His inspiration and support throughout this journey is unequal to anything I've ever experienced. He believes in me in a way that doesn't make me feel like I'll let him down if I'm not successful. But with his encouragement and love, I know I will be successful.
I am so lucky to have him in my life and on my journey to fit!
And I struggle with my weight. No matter what the scale reads, he always hugs me and tells me I am beautiful.
His inspiration and support throughout this journey is unequal to anything I've ever experienced. He believes in me in a way that doesn't make me feel like I'll let him down if I'm not successful. But with his encouragement and love, I know I will be successful.
I am so lucky to have him in my life and on my journey to fit!
Thursday, May 21, 2009
journey to fit - day 60
I can't believe it's been 60 days - kind of scary when you think about it!
Long weekend including my 10th wedding anniversary and Memorial Day. I'm thinking it's going to be tough to stay on track food-wise. I will try my best.
We (my husband and I) will start our four days off together by going to the gym tomorrow - try to make up for any damage our celebrating may do!
Long weekend including my 10th wedding anniversary and Memorial Day. I'm thinking it's going to be tough to stay on track food-wise. I will try my best.
We (my husband and I) will start our four days off together by going to the gym tomorrow - try to make up for any damage our celebrating may do!
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
journey to fit - day 59
Guess where I went this morning at 8:30? That's right, boot camp. I may be crazy but I'm not stupid.
Totally bummed right now because the major heart palpitations are back. I need to switch my doctor, which means paperwork. I hate paperwork. But I really need to get it done so I can get back to my old doctors who came back to town this spring.
I'm worn out physically. I think we're all getting sick in this house. Either that or we have allergies all of the sudden.
My food choices are still on track and I'm working hard toward my next weigh in - June 15!
Totally bummed right now because the major heart palpitations are back. I need to switch my doctor, which means paperwork. I hate paperwork. But I really need to get it done so I can get back to my old doctors who came back to town this spring.
I'm worn out physically. I think we're all getting sick in this house. Either that or we have allergies all of the sudden.
My food choices are still on track and I'm working hard toward my next weigh in - June 15!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
journey to fit - day 58
It's very simple. Yesterday I flaked on boot camp, Heather was not happy with me and today I paid the price.
It was wicked hard but yet I secretly liked it. I liked it because Heather will push me to places where I didn't think I could go. Today in the gym, she had me do 100 mountain climbers. They are very difficult. But she did it in a sneaky way.
If I walked in there and she said, "You are doing 100 mountain climbers today," I would have felt defeated immediately. But she had me doing 10 here and 15 there - in between all the biceps and triceps exercises. I am feeling weak (cuz my upper body is killing me) but strong (because I know I can do it.)
The point is not that I am stronger than I give myself credit for. The point is not that I missed a free class that can help me progress that much faster. The point is not that I have come a long way in the past 58 days.
No, the point is this: You don't piss off the Heather - for she will make you pay.
It was wicked hard but yet I secretly liked it. I liked it because Heather will push me to places where I didn't think I could go. Today in the gym, she had me do 100 mountain climbers. They are very difficult. But she did it in a sneaky way.
If I walked in there and she said, "You are doing 100 mountain climbers today," I would have felt defeated immediately. But she had me doing 10 here and 15 there - in between all the biceps and triceps exercises. I am feeling weak (cuz my upper body is killing me) but strong (because I know I can do it.)
The point is not that I am stronger than I give myself credit for. The point is not that I missed a free class that can help me progress that much faster. The point is not that I have come a long way in the past 58 days.
No, the point is this: You don't piss off the Heather - for she will make you pay.
Monday, May 18, 2009
journey to fit - day 57
When I see a commercial for the new pasta bread bowl for Dominos, I think to myself, "Wow, that is so much food - so many carbs," and I can almost feel how sick I'd be after eating one.
It used to be that I would think, "Oh, I gotta get me one of those." It feels good not to have the desire for all the bad stuff. It reminds me of how I used to feel when I was younger - never obsessed over food - normal.
I was watching a show on MTV about people who had lost weight and were trying to adjust to their new body. One young guy, maybe 21 years old, was once morbidly obese and he had A LOT of extra skin after losing all his weight. He was going to have surgery to remove it. The way he lost the weight was through a lap band - a band that's filled with fluid to restrict the size of the stomach.
He wanted the doctor to remove the liquid because he was ready to see how it felt to live "normal" again. Straight from the doctor's office he went to his favorite restaurant and ordered one thing after another. As I watched him order his fourth extra thick vanilla milkshake (not to mention the pastas and steaks and desserts), I felt physically ill.
I also felt sad for him because it didn't matter what he changed physically. His problem was psychological. I was recognizing that feeling of wanting but not needing and then feeling ashamed, as he did. I'm not sure how it happens or why it un-happens. I'm just grateful I am currently not feeling that way.
Proof is in the pudding, as they say. I've been living with a bunch of frosted cupcakes, a tray of creamy pasta and all the fixins for s'mores - and I have not felt the compulsion to binge on it.
I pray that feeling never comes back.
It used to be that I would think, "Oh, I gotta get me one of those." It feels good not to have the desire for all the bad stuff. It reminds me of how I used to feel when I was younger - never obsessed over food - normal.
I was watching a show on MTV about people who had lost weight and were trying to adjust to their new body. One young guy, maybe 21 years old, was once morbidly obese and he had A LOT of extra skin after losing all his weight. He was going to have surgery to remove it. The way he lost the weight was through a lap band - a band that's filled with fluid to restrict the size of the stomach.
He wanted the doctor to remove the liquid because he was ready to see how it felt to live "normal" again. Straight from the doctor's office he went to his favorite restaurant and ordered one thing after another. As I watched him order his fourth extra thick vanilla milkshake (not to mention the pastas and steaks and desserts), I felt physically ill.
I also felt sad for him because it didn't matter what he changed physically. His problem was psychological. I was recognizing that feeling of wanting but not needing and then feeling ashamed, as he did. I'm not sure how it happens or why it un-happens. I'm just grateful I am currently not feeling that way.
Proof is in the pudding, as they say. I've been living with a bunch of frosted cupcakes, a tray of creamy pasta and all the fixins for s'mores - and I have not felt the compulsion to binge on it.
I pray that feeling never comes back.
journey to fit - day 55 and 56
What a weekend! My daughter made her first communion and a new gallery (where I am represented) hosted it's grand opening in my little town.
Prepping for this weekend was hectic, at best. I totally fell off the "tracking my food" wagon. Monday I will get back on that. I already shopped and have good food options in my house. I actually didn't overeat, but rather the opposite - I didn't eat enough.
I did partake in some sinful pasta and bread, however. But there was so much bad (good) food around and I didn't obsess over it or overeat at all. And it wasn't a conscious thing - I just didn't feel the need.
My workouts during the past week were great and my Heather made me ache plenty!
Prepping for this weekend was hectic, at best. I totally fell off the "tracking my food" wagon. Monday I will get back on that. I already shopped and have good food options in my house. I actually didn't overeat, but rather the opposite - I didn't eat enough.
I did partake in some sinful pasta and bread, however. But there was so much bad (good) food around and I didn't obsess over it or overeat at all. And it wasn't a conscious thing - I just didn't feel the need.
My workouts during the past week were great and my Heather made me ache plenty!
Friday, May 15, 2009
journey to fit - day 54
Done. Check. Moving on.
Got out the scale from under the dresser, dusted it off and placed it on the bathroom floor. Then I went to get the tape measure and paper and pencil. I took off all my clothes, glasses and hair tie. As I measured, my kitty was pawing at the dangling end.
Unfortunately, I gave my journal (with my last measurements listed in it) to Heather so she could write my workouts in it. So I measured and pretty much figured there was not a huge change.
Then the scale. Ugh. I said a prayer, "Please Lord, let me be strong." I stepped on and waited. When I figured the digits had appeared in the little window, I looked down. Not a huge change. Not a gain. But a loss of two pounds.
This is when I knew my prayer would kick in. Be strong Deanna.
I was hoping to lose about seven pounds. That was reasonable, I thought.
This is why Heather gave me homework the other day. Although I didn't technically do it - I know what the list would look like. She has been placing the list, item by item, in my head over the past 54 days. As well as, my husband, my kids and my clothes.
So I'm not going to get ecstatic about two pounds. But I'm not getting depressed either. I'm fine. Better than I thought I'd be.
I did what I was supposed to do and now I'm moving on to continue my journey ... with a smile on my face.
Got out the scale from under the dresser, dusted it off and placed it on the bathroom floor. Then I went to get the tape measure and paper and pencil. I took off all my clothes, glasses and hair tie. As I measured, my kitty was pawing at the dangling end.
Unfortunately, I gave my journal (with my last measurements listed in it) to Heather so she could write my workouts in it. So I measured and pretty much figured there was not a huge change.
Then the scale. Ugh. I said a prayer, "Please Lord, let me be strong." I stepped on and waited. When I figured the digits had appeared in the little window, I looked down. Not a huge change. Not a gain. But a loss of two pounds.
This is when I knew my prayer would kick in. Be strong Deanna.
I was hoping to lose about seven pounds. That was reasonable, I thought.
This is why Heather gave me homework the other day. Although I didn't technically do it - I know what the list would look like. She has been placing the list, item by item, in my head over the past 54 days. As well as, my husband, my kids and my clothes.
So I'm not going to get ecstatic about two pounds. But I'm not getting depressed either. I'm fine. Better than I thought I'd be.
I did what I was supposed to do and now I'm moving on to continue my journey ... with a smile on my face.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
journey to fit - day 53
I'm getting nervous about tomorrow. I have to weigh myself and take my measurements. Early on, I lost four inches but I don't know if I've lost any more since then. And the scale is never my friend - if I am the same or more I will freak out!
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
journey to fit - day 51 and 52
My boss gave me some homework to do. I have to make a list of my accomplishments from the last 50 days and what I would accept as "good results" when I weigh/measure in on Friday. I need to set expectations now because I have gained a lot of muscle and it may be misleading (to my progress) on the scale.
Boot camp continues to be a great challenge. I think my diet is kinda going backwards a little. I called Heather "my boss" because, like I said before, doing all this is like a full-time job. I'm not complaining but just stating a fact - it's hard to keep up the journaling. It is important to do though and I know that it has helped me to realize what is really going in my mouth.
This is a very busy week so I haven't been able to track my food, but I know what happens usually is I go back to what is safe - low calorie. At least then I know I am not overeating.
So I need to get cracking on my assignment. Maybe later tonight when all the chaos calms down.
Boot camp continues to be a great challenge. I think my diet is kinda going backwards a little. I called Heather "my boss" because, like I said before, doing all this is like a full-time job. I'm not complaining but just stating a fact - it's hard to keep up the journaling. It is important to do though and I know that it has helped me to realize what is really going in my mouth.
This is a very busy week so I haven't been able to track my food, but I know what happens usually is I go back to what is safe - low calorie. At least then I know I am not overeating.
So I need to get cracking on my assignment. Maybe later tonight when all the chaos calms down.
Monday, May 11, 2009
journey to fit - day 50
Fifty. That's a nice round number.
Find fifty bucks in an old pocket and call it a date night.
Driving fifty on my street will get you at least a dirty look.
Driving fifty in front of me on the highway will get you the same dirty look.
Fifty is my new "man, I'm getting old" age.
Hawaii is the fiftieth state added to our Union.
Fifty/fifty - not the best odds.
Fifty proof is 25% alcohol - that sounds like it would burn.
50 Cent pronounces his name Fitty Cent.
Fifty cents gives my two favorite girls a handful of Mike and Ikes at the music shop.
Fifty calories is a very small snack.
I sweat for fifty-minutes at the gym.
Fifty days into my journey and I feel good about my accomplishments.
Find fifty bucks in an old pocket and call it a date night.
Driving fifty on my street will get you at least a dirty look.
Driving fifty in front of me on the highway will get you the same dirty look.
Fifty is my new "man, I'm getting old" age.
Hawaii is the fiftieth state added to our Union.
Fifty/fifty - not the best odds.
Fifty proof is 25% alcohol - that sounds like it would burn.
50 Cent pronounces his name Fitty Cent.
Fifty cents gives my two favorite girls a handful of Mike and Ikes at the music shop.
Fifty calories is a very small snack.
I sweat for fifty-minutes at the gym.
Fifty days into my journey and I feel good about my accomplishments.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
journey to fit - day 48 annd 49
I'm going to have to change the name of my blog to "two-a-day" I think.
It's that time of year - difficult to formulate a thought as often as usual. Kids. Nuff said.
So today is Mother's Day. We took the mothers to a nice (bacon) brunch buffet. Yes, that's right - all you can eat (bacon). I ate a little bit of my favorites instead of all of everything. I had a bit of home fries, (bacon), a taste of three different deserts, and a croissant. But I also had some fruit, (bacon), a nice piece of salmon and a small scoop of scrambled eggs.
I thought I was very in control. Except bacon. I ate probably eight pieces of bacon.
Tomorrow I'll be back in the gym, working on my fitness, he's my witness. Oops, I accidentally channeled Fergie for a minute there.
Actually I'll be at boot camp tomorrow and Wednesday and in the gym on Tuesday and Thursday. Trying to smash in as much workout time as possible.
Also tomorrow I need to plan out the food sitch in my kitchen. My fridge was a mess and leaking water from inside. I cleaned it out yesterday so now I can get the proper foods in there. Planning is key!
It's that time of year - difficult to formulate a thought as often as usual. Kids. Nuff said.
So today is Mother's Day. We took the mothers to a nice (bacon) brunch buffet. Yes, that's right - all you can eat (bacon). I ate a little bit of my favorites instead of all of everything. I had a bit of home fries, (bacon), a taste of three different deserts, and a croissant. But I also had some fruit, (bacon), a nice piece of salmon and a small scoop of scrambled eggs.
I thought I was very in control. Except bacon. I ate probably eight pieces of bacon.
Tomorrow I'll be back in the gym, working on my fitness, he's my witness. Oops, I accidentally channeled Fergie for a minute there.
Actually I'll be at boot camp tomorrow and Wednesday and in the gym on Tuesday and Thursday. Trying to smash in as much workout time as possible.
Also tomorrow I need to plan out the food sitch in my kitchen. My fridge was a mess and leaking water from inside. I cleaned it out yesterday so now I can get the proper foods in there. Planning is key!
Friday, May 8, 2009
journey to fit - day 46 and 47
The time has come. Heather has informed me that I will be decreasing my calories pretty soon. And get this, she wants me to eventually eliminate the cream for my coffee. Hah! Oh boy. Well, that is the last thing I will give up - I'll hold out for as long as I can! Mayo, sour cream and butter I also love but will manage to phase out of my diet. Fine.
So my caloric goal was originally 2,800. I was eating way too few calories and I never really quite made it up to 2,800. Now my caloric goal is about 2,000. This is good since Heather has totally kicked up my workouts. My calories burned vs. my calories taken in ratio will only mean one thing - weight loss!
Heather's plan was to get my calories (and protein) up and teach me how to build and work my muscles. Now my workouts are really hard and I'm ready to tweak my diet. It all makes so much sense now. I can't wait to see some pounds melt away!
As for my heart palpitations, they have subsided a great deal. I lowered the protein in my diet. It has been a week since the doctor's office wouldn't respond to my requests and no one has called to see how I am doing or to see where their machine is! Not sure why they dropped the ball. Continuity of care is clearly not their strong suit. I've noticed that before. Time to search for a new doc I guess.
So my caloric goal was originally 2,800. I was eating way too few calories and I never really quite made it up to 2,800. Now my caloric goal is about 2,000. This is good since Heather has totally kicked up my workouts. My calories burned vs. my calories taken in ratio will only mean one thing - weight loss!
Heather's plan was to get my calories (and protein) up and teach me how to build and work my muscles. Now my workouts are really hard and I'm ready to tweak my diet. It all makes so much sense now. I can't wait to see some pounds melt away!
As for my heart palpitations, they have subsided a great deal. I lowered the protein in my diet. It has been a week since the doctor's office wouldn't respond to my requests and no one has called to see how I am doing or to see where their machine is! Not sure why they dropped the ball. Continuity of care is clearly not their strong suit. I've noticed that before. Time to search for a new doc I guess.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
journey to fit - day 44 and 45
This week is tough with four days of working out. So tired and not much time to journal. I will have to re-commit to the FitDay web site next week. Just too busy this week! Although next week I'll be keeping the same workout schedule. Hey, getting fit is like a full-time job!
Monday, May 4, 2009
journey to fit - day 43
Boot camp, let me describe it for you.
Simply put, it's a type of torture one inflicts upon oneself, knowingly and willingly, in hopes that next time it will be less excruciating.
Before boot camp, I get myself mentally psyched up, only to find myself completely unprepared when I walk in the door. When I see all the people moving around and the music is playing, I'm suddenly committed - there's no turning back now. Besides, Heather wouldn't let me even if I wanted to.
Steps, about 10 of them, different heights, spaced a foot apart - now go. Right, left, right, left, up, up, down, down. Now Frankenstein back. Turn quick and through the military net - knees up high, don't miss a beat. Now duck down under the bar, and hop over the next one. And apple pick back. Great, now do it all again - four times.
I start at the end of the line and somehow end up the leader - oops.
Outside in the parking lot, walk to the street side, now lunge across the lot (what must be at least 250 feet). Perfect, now lunge back to the street and squat back across the lot. Squat to the door and now back inside the building.
No, we're not done. Well, done with the first part and done with the second part, but there are more parts!
Okay, more of the steps, net, under, over stuff - maybe three more times? Then everyone disassembles the whole set up and they create a whole new and different set up. But before we start that part, we get to do more squats. Back against the wall, slide down as low as you can - and hold - and hold - and hold...
Last part now. Circuit floor exercises - rotate through about ten of them, 45 seconds each - balancing on the butt, "planking" on balls of varying sizes and weights, ball crunches, a step about two feet high - I can't even remember or properly name them all!
Phewf - aren't you tired? I am. But somehow, I'm still going back for more.
Simply put, it's a type of torture one inflicts upon oneself, knowingly and willingly, in hopes that next time it will be less excruciating.
Before boot camp, I get myself mentally psyched up, only to find myself completely unprepared when I walk in the door. When I see all the people moving around and the music is playing, I'm suddenly committed - there's no turning back now. Besides, Heather wouldn't let me even if I wanted to.
Steps, about 10 of them, different heights, spaced a foot apart - now go. Right, left, right, left, up, up, down, down. Now Frankenstein back. Turn quick and through the military net - knees up high, don't miss a beat. Now duck down under the bar, and hop over the next one. And apple pick back. Great, now do it all again - four times.
I start at the end of the line and somehow end up the leader - oops.
Outside in the parking lot, walk to the street side, now lunge across the lot (what must be at least 250 feet). Perfect, now lunge back to the street and squat back across the lot. Squat to the door and now back inside the building.
No, we're not done. Well, done with the first part and done with the second part, but there are more parts!
Okay, more of the steps, net, under, over stuff - maybe three more times? Then everyone disassembles the whole set up and they create a whole new and different set up. But before we start that part, we get to do more squats. Back against the wall, slide down as low as you can - and hold - and hold - and hold...
Last part now. Circuit floor exercises - rotate through about ten of them, 45 seconds each - balancing on the butt, "planking" on balls of varying sizes and weights, ball crunches, a step about two feet high - I can't even remember or properly name them all!
Phewf - aren't you tired? I am. But somehow, I'm still going back for more.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
journey to fit - day 42
Not much to report today. Eating good food and resting the body. Still looking forward to class tomorrow but generally hate doing anything at 8:30 in the morning that doesn't include coffee and CNN. :D
Saturday, May 2, 2009
journey to fit - day 41
Been thinking a lot about the heart palpitations.
I never did get a call back from my doc's office to fix the unit yesterday. I ended up taking all the sticker probe things off. Whatever. I'm done.
Between me, my mom, and Heather - we can figure this thing out. My mom's been finding all kinds of articles on WebMD and Heather and I are going to look closer at the diet. Maybe the huge increase in protein is the culprit.
I can't wait for Monday so I can go back to boot camp. It's really challenging and I can't do it all, but it's something that I'll gradually conquer!
I never did get a call back from my doc's office to fix the unit yesterday. I ended up taking all the sticker probe things off. Whatever. I'm done.
Between me, my mom, and Heather - we can figure this thing out. My mom's been finding all kinds of articles on WebMD and Heather and I are going to look closer at the diet. Maybe the huge increase in protein is the culprit.
I can't wait for Monday so I can go back to boot camp. It's really challenging and I can't do it all, but it's something that I'll gradually conquer!
Friday, May 1, 2009
journey to fit - day 40
Most things in life are relative.
Like when I think about setting the table for a nice dinner. First I need a tablecloth. The tablecloth is in the laundry closet in the bottom drawer. The bottom drawer is blocked by a pile of laundry in an overflowing basket. The basket really belongs on the upper shelf. The upper shelf is loaded with stuff that doesn't belong there. So basically, in order to set the table, I need to reorganize the top shelf, which turns into cleaning out the whole laundry closet, so I can get the basket back up where it belongs, which means doing all the "extra" laundry. It's all related - at least in my mind it is.
Today I was so frustrated by my 24-hour heart monitor. After becoming upset at the day-long debacle (I won't bore you with the details except to say I am currently sporting five sticker probes attached by long cords to a fanny pack unit that's not working) I then realized (okay, my MOM made me realize) why bother being upset? Choose your attitude.
Well, this is relative to the rest of my life right now. I'm choosing my attitude toward exercise, toward eating right and being motivated. Why not blanket my whole life with this attitude? It makes sense. It's much easier to release the frustrations and work toward a happy goal.
It's one of those things that spills over into the rest of your life. Changing is not easy, but once you do it, you become an unwitting advocate. People see it. They change. And then you realize - what you do is related to what others will do!
Like when I think about setting the table for a nice dinner. First I need a tablecloth. The tablecloth is in the laundry closet in the bottom drawer. The bottom drawer is blocked by a pile of laundry in an overflowing basket. The basket really belongs on the upper shelf. The upper shelf is loaded with stuff that doesn't belong there. So basically, in order to set the table, I need to reorganize the top shelf, which turns into cleaning out the whole laundry closet, so I can get the basket back up where it belongs, which means doing all the "extra" laundry. It's all related - at least in my mind it is.
Today I was so frustrated by my 24-hour heart monitor. After becoming upset at the day-long debacle (I won't bore you with the details except to say I am currently sporting five sticker probes attached by long cords to a fanny pack unit that's not working) I then realized (okay, my MOM made me realize) why bother being upset? Choose your attitude.
Well, this is relative to the rest of my life right now. I'm choosing my attitude toward exercise, toward eating right and being motivated. Why not blanket my whole life with this attitude? It makes sense. It's much easier to release the frustrations and work toward a happy goal.
It's one of those things that spills over into the rest of your life. Changing is not easy, but once you do it, you become an unwitting advocate. People see it. They change. And then you realize - what you do is related to what others will do!
Thursday, April 30, 2009
journey to fit - day 39
i'm in the mood to bullet:
- i'm tired tonight.
- all this exercise is letting my body rest.
- used to have insomnia.
- keeping a positive attitude.
- not weighing myself.
- ate chocolate today and shouldn't have.
- new web site is proving to be more accurate than my handwritten journal.
- looking forward to four days with heather next week - two boot camp classes!
- have to get a portable heart monitor tomorrow.
- also will get blood test results back - metabolism and thyroid checks.
- i'm tired tonight.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
journey to fit - day 38
So I'm sitting in the examining room at my doctor's office today and all kinds of things are going through my head.
To make a long story short, I've been having strange and wild heart palpitations. The ER doc last night said not to worry (after an EKG) - what I'm experiencing is called PVCs (Google it) and I should go about my business as usual. Fine then.
I went to my first boot camp class this morning and it was awesome! I'm so happy I did it and I can't wait to go back. It was very hard and I was a little worried about the heart at times, but I made it through and the gang was real nice. (I'll blog about boot camp more next time.)
So back to the doctor's office - after boot camp, I had an appointment. I had another EKG and a blood test. On Friday, I'll be getting hooked up to a 24-hour portable machine that I can even wear while exercising.
As I was sitting there waiting for the doctor to come in, I saw a book on the counter. Usually I play with the mini wooden labyrinth but the book caught my attention with it's Tiffany blue jacket. It was titled "Oxymoronica: Paradoxical Wit and Wisdom from History's Greatest Wordsmiths" - just my type of quick read. Full of clever quotes from people like Mae West, Oliver Wendall Holmes and Margaret Meade.
My sister lent me a nice little David Sedaris paperback titled "Holidays on Ice" - it has a photo of a cocktail on the front. I read one of the short stories last night while waiting for the ER folks to call me in. David was dragged unwillingly by his sister, Amy, to a sketchy part of town to help one of her friends whom she met at her new job as a cafeteria worker. The woman was drunk and half dressed as they "rescued" her from an abusive, and equally drunk, boyfriend. The story was titled "Dinah, the Christmas Whore." Turns out she was a prostitute, which couldn't have entertained the family more when they brought her back to their house in the middle of the night.
Boy am I digressing today! As I opened the Tiffany blue book, I gobbled up all these great quotes. Some of them I've read before. I enjoy witty quotes. One of them I had to write down. It was by Carrie Fisher (aka Princess Lea) and read simply, "Instant gratification takes too long."
It's funny because it's true. True in that, if I don't get what I want, in what I feel is a reasonable amount of time, I get frustrated.
I've been on this short journey for 38 days and sometimes it feels like forever. I'm looking to reach goals that can't possibly be met in such a short amount of time. I think about setting others expectations all the time so they know what to expect from me - so I don't disappoint them. Now I need to do that for myself.
To make a long story short, I've been having strange and wild heart palpitations. The ER doc last night said not to worry (after an EKG) - what I'm experiencing is called PVCs (Google it) and I should go about my business as usual. Fine then.
I went to my first boot camp class this morning and it was awesome! I'm so happy I did it and I can't wait to go back. It was very hard and I was a little worried about the heart at times, but I made it through and the gang was real nice. (I'll blog about boot camp more next time.)
So back to the doctor's office - after boot camp, I had an appointment. I had another EKG and a blood test. On Friday, I'll be getting hooked up to a 24-hour portable machine that I can even wear while exercising.
As I was sitting there waiting for the doctor to come in, I saw a book on the counter. Usually I play with the mini wooden labyrinth but the book caught my attention with it's Tiffany blue jacket. It was titled "Oxymoronica: Paradoxical Wit and Wisdom from History's Greatest Wordsmiths" - just my type of quick read. Full of clever quotes from people like Mae West, Oliver Wendall Holmes and Margaret Meade.
My sister lent me a nice little David Sedaris paperback titled "Holidays on Ice" - it has a photo of a cocktail on the front. I read one of the short stories last night while waiting for the ER folks to call me in. David was dragged unwillingly by his sister, Amy, to a sketchy part of town to help one of her friends whom she met at her new job as a cafeteria worker. The woman was drunk and half dressed as they "rescued" her from an abusive, and equally drunk, boyfriend. The story was titled "Dinah, the Christmas Whore." Turns out she was a prostitute, which couldn't have entertained the family more when they brought her back to their house in the middle of the night.
Boy am I digressing today! As I opened the Tiffany blue book, I gobbled up all these great quotes. Some of them I've read before. I enjoy witty quotes. One of them I had to write down. It was by Carrie Fisher (aka Princess Lea) and read simply, "Instant gratification takes too long."
It's funny because it's true. True in that, if I don't get what I want, in what I feel is a reasonable amount of time, I get frustrated.
I've been on this short journey for 38 days and sometimes it feels like forever. I'm looking to reach goals that can't possibly be met in such a short amount of time. I think about setting others expectations all the time so they know what to expect from me - so I don't disappoint them. Now I need to do that for myself.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
journey to fit - day 37
Boot Camp, here I come! Tomorrow is Heather's boot camp class, and man oh man I think it's going to be hard - fun but hard. I'm looking forward to pushing myself and sweating the good sweat.
I am also excited about this new web site, FitDay, that Heather showed me. It's awesome because it tracks and calculates everything, I mean like everything, for you! If you want to track your food, activity, goals and see real-time reports and graphs, you need to check it out.
I am also excited about this new web site, FitDay, that Heather showed me. It's awesome because it tracks and calculates everything, I mean like everything, for you! If you want to track your food, activity, goals and see real-time reports and graphs, you need to check it out.
Monday, April 27, 2009
journey to fit - day 36
Worked out with Heather this morning. It was hard just to get myself there. But once I see Heather's smiling face, things start to look up. You just can't be in a funky mood when she's around.
Anyway, we did some new stuff to help prepare me for the shock of her boot camp class - which I'll be attending on Wednesday. It's going to be so difficult, but she has proven that I can do so much more than what I think I can do.
I look forward to the day when I can get excited about boot camp, instead of scared of it!
Anyway, we did some new stuff to help prepare me for the shock of her boot camp class - which I'll be attending on Wednesday. It's going to be so difficult, but she has proven that I can do so much more than what I think I can do.
I look forward to the day when I can get excited about boot camp, instead of scared of it!
Sunday, April 26, 2009
journey to fit - day 35
Okay, I am so tired right now and I'm not looking forward to hitting the gym tomorrow. But I know I'll feel different after I'm done.
This week is going to be some serious work. Heather's going to work me hard because I need to see more change. I really want to lose some actual poundage in the next 30-something days. She typed up a six-week program for me that will get the results. It's going to be hard, so I'll need to pull some major mojo out of my ass for sure.
This week is going to be some serious work. Heather's going to work me hard because I need to see more change. I really want to lose some actual poundage in the next 30-something days. She typed up a six-week program for me that will get the results. It's going to be hard, so I'll need to pull some major mojo out of my ass for sure.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
journey to fit - day 33 and 34
I'm trying to mentally prepare for next week. I will be working with Heather three days. One of those days is boot camp - she teaches the class and from the looks of the people afterward, it's tough stuff.
The unseasonably warm weather is putting me in a funk as I try to find something descent to wear. Ugh.
The unseasonably warm weather is putting me in a funk as I try to find something descent to wear. Ugh.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
journey to fit - day 32
Today I was thinking, as I was Swiffering the floor, about how far I've come in the past 31 days. I feel so good. Strong. Dare I say, less lazy.
I cleaned the house today with such enthusiasm. Even a chore like cleaning the house has improved!
I'm embarrassed to say that the old me would have had the kids pick up small pieces of trash off the floor that wouldn't fit up the vacuum hose (like the empty juice box under the kitchen chair ) under the guise that "they left it there and they should pick it up!" When really I was just too lazy to bend over and do it myself.
I used to have my son get the vacuum hose out and hook it up to the central vac and then put it away for me when I was done. I can't believe I let it get that far. Kinda sad really.
There are so many reasons having more energy comes in handy (which I attribute to eating more and exercising properly) - like my kids can't follow in my sluggish behavior, the overall mood in the house has improved, and my husband, well, never mind, but you get the gist of it!
I cleaned the house today with such enthusiasm. Even a chore like cleaning the house has improved!
I'm embarrassed to say that the old me would have had the kids pick up small pieces of trash off the floor that wouldn't fit up the vacuum hose (like the empty juice box under the kitchen chair ) under the guise that "they left it there and they should pick it up!" When really I was just too lazy to bend over and do it myself.
I used to have my son get the vacuum hose out and hook it up to the central vac and then put it away for me when I was done. I can't believe I let it get that far. Kinda sad really.
There are so many reasons having more energy comes in handy (which I attribute to eating more and exercising properly) - like my kids can't follow in my sluggish behavior, the overall mood in the house has improved, and my husband, well, never mind, but you get the gist of it!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
journey to fit - day 31
Today marks 'day two' of my three-days-in-a-row of working out. I went yesterday while I was at the Marriott in Fitchburg and then I met Heather today for my regular appointment. And tomorrow morning I am meeting Heather again. My body is whipped already. I wonder what she's going to have me doing.
My food seems off - I need to update my journal better. Since I went away, I've been lax in keeping it. Tomorrow I will be sure to get back on that swing.
It may seem silly to some but when you find what works for you, you just become in awe. I have tried so many things to lose weight, but I've never really worked on the mental aspect of it. I was watching Ruby Gettinger go through her journey on the Style Network and she is really digging deep into the mental part of it. It just may be the key to it all.
My mental weapon is the same as my nutrition and exercise weapon - Heather! I tell her EVERYTHING and she doesn't judge me. She inspires me.
Today she had an inspiring quote on her Facebook status - "If you're going to doubt something, doubt your limits!!!" I'm in a place where I need to hear that - and it really hits home with me because it ties back to what she's teaching me in the gym.
Just can't really say enough about the Heather.
My food seems off - I need to update my journal better. Since I went away, I've been lax in keeping it. Tomorrow I will be sure to get back on that swing.
It may seem silly to some but when you find what works for you, you just become in awe. I have tried so many things to lose weight, but I've never really worked on the mental aspect of it. I was watching Ruby Gettinger go through her journey on the Style Network and she is really digging deep into the mental part of it. It just may be the key to it all.
My mental weapon is the same as my nutrition and exercise weapon - Heather! I tell her EVERYTHING and she doesn't judge me. She inspires me.
Today she had an inspiring quote on her Facebook status - "If you're going to doubt something, doubt your limits!!!" I'm in a place where I need to hear that - and it really hits home with me because it ties back to what she's teaching me in the gym.
Just can't really say enough about the Heather.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
journey to fit - day 29 and 30
This is supposed to be a blog-a-day but sometimes I don't have a chance to get online and write. We went away yesterday and came back today. So thus, the two-day entry.
My sister and I took the kids to an indoor water resort. It was pretty good but I think it was a little too young for them.
While we were there I had some of my healthy options available to me. I visited in the gym: free weights, treadmill and elliptical - worked for me. My armpits hurt so I know I did the exercises properly. And I did the dreaded lunges with 5lb weights.
There were some good choices for food. I had grilled chicken and salad yesterday for dinner and eggs for breakfast today. I also ate wheat and whole grain bread options. I brought a little stash of 100 calorie packs and my Special K protein bars.
But that is not to say I didn't eat things I shouldn't have. I partook in some hefty nachos with beans and beef. I had a few french fries, a half a piece of carrot cake, a bite (or two) of clam chowder, and a bite of a bread stick. Not too bad compared to my past way of eating.
I'm pretty sure I will not be the person who NEVER eats at least a taste of what she likes. Just the way it is. But I can live with that.
My sister and I took the kids to an indoor water resort. It was pretty good but I think it was a little too young for them.
While we were there I had some of my healthy options available to me. I visited in the gym: free weights, treadmill and elliptical - worked for me. My armpits hurt so I know I did the exercises properly. And I did the dreaded lunges with 5lb weights.
There were some good choices for food. I had grilled chicken and salad yesterday for dinner and eggs for breakfast today. I also ate wheat and whole grain bread options. I brought a little stash of 100 calorie packs and my Special K protein bars.
But that is not to say I didn't eat things I shouldn't have. I partook in some hefty nachos with beans and beef. I had a few french fries, a half a piece of carrot cake, a bite (or two) of clam chowder, and a bite of a bread stick. Not too bad compared to my past way of eating.
I'm pretty sure I will not be the person who NEVER eats at least a taste of what she likes. Just the way it is. But I can live with that.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
journey to fit - day 28
Well this is a turn of events - today I feel guilty because I didn't eat enough! The real guilt is going to come when I end up making a bad choice because I am starving right now! Argh!
I had a great day, but out of my carved path and away from my safe foods that keep me from feeling hungry.
I had Special K waffles early this morning. Then at about noon-ish I ate some bourbon chicken at the mall - I had to eat around the yucky fatty parts.
Then we went to the movies and I ate some popcorn but didn't pig out on it like I used to. I even threw half of it away! Now THAT is a HUGE turn of events in my eating life. Love popcorn.
It's not clear what will happen between now and the time I close my lids for the night because I am so craving a burger right now.
I had a great day, but out of my carved path and away from my safe foods that keep me from feeling hungry.
I had Special K waffles early this morning. Then at about noon-ish I ate some bourbon chicken at the mall - I had to eat around the yucky fatty parts.
Then we went to the movies and I ate some popcorn but didn't pig out on it like I used to. I even threw half of it away! Now THAT is a HUGE turn of events in my eating life. Love popcorn.
It's not clear what will happen between now and the time I close my lids for the night because I am so craving a burger right now.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
journey to fit - day 27
Yesterday (Friday) I went to the gym, by myself, to kick my own ass (as one of my fellow-gym-people-types described it) because I normally see Heather on Mondays and Wednesdays. Heather made sure I knew what I was doing on Wednesday and told me to go for it on my own. Anyway, I did four ab exercises and 30 minutes of some good cardio.
I think I did pretty good. My abs hurt a little right now so I know it worked. I think I rushed it a bit and I forgot to take a break in between sets, but once I remembered (during the last set) I tried doing it slower - feel the burn baby.
I went to a party last night where there were scrumptious snacks. My favorite was a sinful hot buffalo chicken dip. And I also had a couple samplings of the guacamole - very excellent. I was proud of myself for not over-doing it and I stayed completely away from the Frito corn chips. Of course I did partake in a frozen cocktail however.
I think I did pretty good. My abs hurt a little right now so I know it worked. I think I rushed it a bit and I forgot to take a break in between sets, but once I remembered (during the last set) I tried doing it slower - feel the burn baby.
I went to a party last night where there were scrumptious snacks. My favorite was a sinful hot buffalo chicken dip. And I also had a couple samplings of the guacamole - very excellent. I was proud of myself for not over-doing it and I stayed completely away from the Frito corn chips. Of course I did partake in a frozen cocktail however.
Friday, April 17, 2009
journey to fit - day 26
I think it's getting close to the time in my journey to step it up. It's been three and a half weeks and I've seen visual changes in my body, but I need more or I'm afraid I will begin to lose interest. I need to lose some actual weight.
I probably should have waited longer, but yesterday I weighed myself. And it's the same as when I started. I was shocked because I definitely lost four inches and I can wear clothes I couldn't wear before.
I was so sure the number went down. I was on a happy high and now I'm at a low. It sucks because this is what it felt like all the other times when I did what I was supposed to do and didn't see the weight come off. I don't want to go back there. I want to move forward.
I know what Heather would say - "You ARE moving forward. Your fitness level is much higher. Your body is getting stronger. You are learning the right way to do things." I know, I just need a little glimmer of hope that only the scale can give me - just a few pounds...
I probably should have waited longer, but yesterday I weighed myself. And it's the same as when I started. I was shocked because I definitely lost four inches and I can wear clothes I couldn't wear before.
I was so sure the number went down. I was on a happy high and now I'm at a low. It sucks because this is what it felt like all the other times when I did what I was supposed to do and didn't see the weight come off. I don't want to go back there. I want to move forward.
I know what Heather would say - "You ARE moving forward. Your fitness level is much higher. Your body is getting stronger. You are learning the right way to do things." I know, I just need a little glimmer of hope that only the scale can give me - just a few pounds...
Thursday, April 16, 2009
journey to fit - day 25
Thursday is my day off. I don't have to cart kids all over the place before dinner. I don't have to go to the gym. I don't have to grocery shop. And I don't even have one single appointment all day. Love this free feeling.
Idle time is also NOT such a good thing sometimes though. In the past, I'd flit around the house, do this and that and eat an "innocent" morsel here and there. But today, right now, I am all set.
I don't feel the need. It's a mental thing I think (or it could be that I'm eating foods that are filling). But I have it in my head that I don't need it and my hand-to-mouth actions are following suit.
Now that feels like real freedom.
Idle time is also NOT such a good thing sometimes though. In the past, I'd flit around the house, do this and that and eat an "innocent" morsel here and there. But today, right now, I am all set.
I don't feel the need. It's a mental thing I think (or it could be that I'm eating foods that are filling). But I have it in my head that I don't need it and my hand-to-mouth actions are following suit.
Now that feels like real freedom.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
journey to fit - day 24
I have to say that I really like Valerie Bertinelli. I am not a big fan of her acting, although I did enjoy One Day at a Time back in the day.
The reason I like her is because I can relate to her. She was married to an alcoholic and I've had my fair share of that disease in my life. Tough stuff to deal with. She has spoken out about it and I think it helps others who are going through the same thing.
She makes regular appearances on the Rachel Ray Show (whom I happen to adore). And she shares real-life situations with the audience in an honest way. I like that.
Since she has come back on the scene with her Jenny Craig success, once again I can relate. I have not realized my full success yet, but I will. And I secretly want to get into a bikini, just not on national TV or magazine covers.
The one thing I wish Valerie would do is come clean about her personal trainer. She has not mentioned a personal trainer in all the interviews I've seen or read. There is no way she got that body just from eating Jenny Craig food.
From my experience (which, to name a few, includes: Weight Watchers; Herbalife; low calorie; low carb; Suzanne Somers diet; Fit for Life; pills, gadgets and machines from the store, internet, infomercials; and even Phen-Fen), the one thing I've never tried until now AND IS working, is a personal trainer.
My personal trainer/nutritionist, Heather, is outstanding. She's my kind of girl. We laugh, we joke, she kills me in the gym. She is accessible on Facebook, via e-mail and phone. She is my rock right now. I count on her tremendously and if I couldn't see her anymore I would be devastated. Because it's working.
That's why I know Valerie Bertinelli must have a trainer. I think it's a shame that this person has not been outed yet. He/she has done fabulous work.
Let's hear it for the personal trainers! Woot-woot!
The reason I like her is because I can relate to her. She was married to an alcoholic and I've had my fair share of that disease in my life. Tough stuff to deal with. She has spoken out about it and I think it helps others who are going through the same thing.
She makes regular appearances on the Rachel Ray Show (whom I happen to adore). And she shares real-life situations with the audience in an honest way. I like that.
Since she has come back on the scene with her Jenny Craig success, once again I can relate. I have not realized my full success yet, but I will. And I secretly want to get into a bikini, just not on national TV or magazine covers.
The one thing I wish Valerie would do is come clean about her personal trainer. She has not mentioned a personal trainer in all the interviews I've seen or read. There is no way she got that body just from eating Jenny Craig food.
From my experience (which, to name a few, includes: Weight Watchers; Herbalife; low calorie; low carb; Suzanne Somers diet; Fit for Life; pills, gadgets and machines from the store, internet, infomercials; and even Phen-Fen), the one thing I've never tried until now AND IS working, is a personal trainer.
My personal trainer/nutritionist, Heather, is outstanding. She's my kind of girl. We laugh, we joke, she kills me in the gym. She is accessible on Facebook, via e-mail and phone. She is my rock right now. I count on her tremendously and if I couldn't see her anymore I would be devastated. Because it's working.
That's why I know Valerie Bertinelli must have a trainer. I think it's a shame that this person has not been outed yet. He/she has done fabulous work.
Let's hear it for the personal trainers! Woot-woot!
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
journey to fit - day 23
Food's back on track. Very easy for some reason. Probably because I like the way I feel so much and I'm just done with that yucky, sick feeling in the pit of my stomach after eating empty calories.
One exception, though, is the sweet, smooth, creamy, one-of-a-kind, mood-altering cocoa creation - CHOCOLATE. Mmmmm.
Right now, there are several of these concoctions lurking in my house (you know who you are...mini foiled Lindt eggs, malted milk robin's eggs, and unidentified plastic-egg-hiding treasures).
Every time I walk by them, I say out loud, "no chocolate, no chocolate, no chocolate!" Kind of like the desperate dead couple in Beatlejuice.
One exception, though, is the sweet, smooth, creamy, one-of-a-kind, mood-altering cocoa creation - CHOCOLATE. Mmmmm.
Right now, there are several of these concoctions lurking in my house (you know who you are...mini foiled Lindt eggs, malted milk robin's eggs, and unidentified plastic-egg-hiding treasures).
Every time I walk by them, I say out loud, "no chocolate, no chocolate, no chocolate!" Kind of like the desperate dead couple in Beatlejuice.
Monday, April 13, 2009
journey to fit - day 22
Wow. Today has gotten off to a great start and in turn has started off the week quite nicely. We will keep it on a roll, yes?
I met Heather at the gym this morning. To start, my legs were feeling all sorts of residual fatigue. So she had me do like eighty-five lunges. I don't know, but, a lot of lunges. I think she must use the new math because I don't quite understand what "okay good, now just one more" means.
Clearly, it's not one more like you and I would think. Is it one more lunge? One more pass across the gym floor? One more set of lunges? Is it one more before I get to rest? I simply do not know.
I think my BFF likes it that way. There's no commitment to a finite number. I think she does it that way so she can keep pushing me until it appears as though I might fall on the floor.
Huh. Good "one" Heather.
I met Heather at the gym this morning. To start, my legs were feeling all sorts of residual fatigue. So she had me do like eighty-five lunges. I don't know, but, a lot of lunges. I think she must use the new math because I don't quite understand what "okay good, now just one more" means.
Clearly, it's not one more like you and I would think. Is it one more lunge? One more pass across the gym floor? One more set of lunges? Is it one more before I get to rest? I simply do not know.
I think my BFF likes it that way. There's no commitment to a finite number. I think she does it that way so she can keep pushing me until it appears as though I might fall on the floor.
Huh. Good "one" Heather.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
journey to fit - day 21
Three weeks ago today, I made a change. A change to eat better food. A change to eat regular meals. A change to eat in a specific way - like normal people.
Before my change in eating, I didn't eat regular meals and my meals were sporadic. I ate nothing all day and thought I was doing good. But guess what? By 3 p.m. I was starving and would eat whatever I felt like eating. And then I would have food amnesia, saying, "Well, I didn't eat much all day." Yeah, until the afternoon!
Another problem I had was eating a ton of carbs. You can eat carbs all day long and still literally feel hungry because there aren't enough vitamins and minerals in carb-heavy foods - your body needs vitamins and minerals.
The changes have been working great: eat regular meals with high nutritional value; don't allow myself to get hungry; and stay away from empty calories (carbs). I feel more able to move, think and my mood has improved a great deal.
So, today is Easter and I went totally back to the old ways - high carb, low nutrition and one big meal later in the day. I feel yucky!
I will use this as a learning experience. I hate the way I feel and I can't wait to get back to my new normal tomorrow.
Before my change in eating, I didn't eat regular meals and my meals were sporadic. I ate nothing all day and thought I was doing good. But guess what? By 3 p.m. I was starving and would eat whatever I felt like eating. And then I would have food amnesia, saying, "Well, I didn't eat much all day." Yeah, until the afternoon!
Another problem I had was eating a ton of carbs. You can eat carbs all day long and still literally feel hungry because there aren't enough vitamins and minerals in carb-heavy foods - your body needs vitamins and minerals.
The changes have been working great: eat regular meals with high nutritional value; don't allow myself to get hungry; and stay away from empty calories (carbs). I feel more able to move, think and my mood has improved a great deal.
So, today is Easter and I went totally back to the old ways - high carb, low nutrition and one big meal later in the day. I feel yucky!
I will use this as a learning experience. I hate the way I feel and I can't wait to get back to my new normal tomorrow.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
journey to fit - day 19 and 20
Shopping seems to be the order of every day lately. I love shopping, but come on!
Shopping for food for Easter is always fun. I ask my family what they want - because no one ever wants the same things or likes the same things.
Some things are healthier than others, but this is what the people want:
I'll be honest and say I love all the things that are bad for me. But I also love the healthy choices too. My plan is to have very small portions and move on with my life the next day. No leftovers!!
Wish me luck!
Shopping for food for Easter is always fun. I ask my family what they want - because no one ever wants the same things or likes the same things.
Some things are healthier than others, but this is what the people want:
- spiral cut ham - very easy for the cook and Paula Deen is on the label so it will be delicious ya'll
- steamed broccoli - everyone but the girl will eat this fav
- sauteed carrot strips - just like my mom makes - done in butter until they are soft and yummy
- roasted red potatoes - roasted in the oven with olive oil, rosemary and salt and pepper
- sweet potato oven fries - cooked low and slow in a little evoo and sea salt
- green beans - only one kind will do and that's Green Giant French cut - just warmed up
I'll be honest and say I love all the things that are bad for me. But I also love the healthy choices too. My plan is to have very small portions and move on with my life the next day. No leftovers!!
Wish me luck!
Thursday, April 9, 2009
journey to fit - day 18
I just realized some seriously valuable benefits for getting healthy. Benefits I am currently reaping.
I think the three most important criteria for success are:
- Acid Reflux and Heartburn - I was suffering from really bad acid reflux that literally had me awake in the middle of the night in pain, dry heaves (apparently Deanna doesn't vomit, ever) and tears. I would lay back down after I thought it had passed and it would start all over again. One time I finally fell back to sleep sitting up in bed. Torture.
Now, because I'm eating healthy and getting my body in shape, I only feel heartburn a little when I eat garlic (my favorite savory flavor), so I try to stay away from it. I feel like a different person! - Arm Pain - Last year, around September, I was working on some jewelry pieces that required heavy scrubbing of small items. I scrubbed like a maniac and totally messed up my right arm. It hurt to sleep on, to shower, dress, put on deodorant, brush my teeth, mash potatoes, and most importantly continue creating my jewelry.
It took a long time to get better and now that I am exercising, I have zero pain (except that inflicted by BFF Heather). - Neck Crick - I was always trying to figure out why my neck hurt when I turned to the left. It was difficult to check traffic when I was driving, and I couldn't get comfortable to sleep. If I moved a certain, sudden way, a wave of pain would run down my neck and left shoulder.
Exercising has loosened me up and makes me feel so free (and dare I say younger). I was exercising BBFFH (before BFF Heather) but I wasn't really challenging my muscles. I can feel every effort and it feels so amazing.
I think the three most important criteria for success are:
- personal support - hubby is too awesome for words;
- expert support - Heather combines knowledge and personality for a winning combination; and
- inner support - you have want it enough to make it happen.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
journey to fit - day 17
It's a clear day! Okay, well there are clouds outside, but it's definitely clear on the inside.
I just finished up at the gym. Had my appointment with Heather. She worked my arms and my core (no lunges, yay!). Then I stayed and did the elliptical for 30 minutes.
I never realized what a multi-tasker I am. I worked on the machine, watched Martha, listened to Fergie, and had enough insightful thoughts in my head to clear out the bad ones.
It feels so good to be on track. Heather made me realize it's okay to go to the gym three days a week, instead of the five that I promised myself. If I start big then there's not much room to grow. I should start off smaller and work my way up. She is so smart, that Heather girl.
So that helped clear my head and the food I'm eating is clearing out my body (serious fiber in the protein-rich foods). But it's keeping me very satisfied - I don't feel starved, or bingy, or even limited.
I also measured some of the obvious areas of my body and all together I lost 4.5" - wow!! As I said in my first entry 2.5 weeks ago, I know I need help - I can't do it alone. And Heather is amazing at helping me do it!
Sorry, Heather "can't do it alone" is one "can't" I'm gonna have to keep ... for now.
I just finished up at the gym. Had my appointment with Heather. She worked my arms and my core (no lunges, yay!). Then I stayed and did the elliptical for 30 minutes.
I never realized what a multi-tasker I am. I worked on the machine, watched Martha, listened to Fergie, and had enough insightful thoughts in my head to clear out the bad ones.
It feels so good to be on track. Heather made me realize it's okay to go to the gym three days a week, instead of the five that I promised myself. If I start big then there's not much room to grow. I should start off smaller and work my way up. She is so smart, that Heather girl.
So that helped clear my head and the food I'm eating is clearing out my body (serious fiber in the protein-rich foods). But it's keeping me very satisfied - I don't feel starved, or bingy, or even limited.
I also measured some of the obvious areas of my body and all together I lost 4.5" - wow!! As I said in my first entry 2.5 weeks ago, I know I need help - I can't do it alone. And Heather is amazing at helping me do it!
Sorry, Heather "can't do it alone" is one "can't" I'm gonna have to keep ... for now.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
journey to fit - day 16
My muscles are so stressed right now. But I'm feeling great and I think I am making progress. I've felt this before. It's in the beginning and I make a step forward. This is usually when I start to feel overly confident and slip back, little by little. I sabotage myself. I slip on my eating or on my visits to the gym. I'm a little nervous because I did slip on going to the gym. I told myself I'd go every day. But I haven't. Is my goal set too high or am I slipping? I'm not sure.
Monday, April 6, 2009
journey to fit - day 15
My legs have never been fatigued like this in all my life. There have been times when I thought they were super tired beyond belief. Like the time I walked around a huge flea market in the Georgia sun, eight months pregnant with ankles the size of, well, cankles. Or the time when I carried a very heavy sleeping toddler through mounds of never-ending beach sand. I thought my legs were going to fail me both times.
But today, I think my BFF Heather (one of those F's is now standing for a different f-word btw) pushed my weary legs to the point of near-exhaustion. I literally almost fell to my knees during lunges. Try to imagine a muscle the size of a rubber band powering the movement of let's say, a blubbery ham hock. That's what it feels like anyway.
After the constant walking this weekend - Friday night four hours at the mall, five hours at a different mall on Saturday and then my power-combo-cardio (treadmill on an incline of eight, elliptical and bike) workout on Saturday night - I think the lunges were just the icing on the cupcakes...or the cherry on the sundae...or, [insert your favorite food-related analogy here].
But today, I think my BFF Heather (one of those F's is now standing for a different f-word btw) pushed my weary legs to the point of near-exhaustion. I literally almost fell to my knees during lunges. Try to imagine a muscle the size of a rubber band powering the movement of let's say, a blubbery ham hock. That's what it feels like anyway.
After the constant walking this weekend - Friday night four hours at the mall, five hours at a different mall on Saturday and then my power-combo-cardio (treadmill on an incline of eight, elliptical and bike) workout on Saturday night - I think the lunges were just the icing on the cupcakes...or the cherry on the sundae...or, [insert your favorite food-related analogy here].
Sunday, April 5, 2009
journey to fit - day 14
Not unlike the scale and measurement obsession issue, let's just out the clothing issue. By the way, I could swear I had a body change so I measured a few places and I lost half an inch each in my thigh and waist! Which, come to think of it, probably prompted the next wave of hope - trying on clothes. You know, the pants that the dryer clearly shrunk down a size or two (because they fit fine before they were washed) or the dress that was purchased without visiting the fitting room because you needed to have the beautiful thing.
Standing in my closet, looking for something to wear, I saw a pair of jeans way up on top of a pile of neatly folded clothes and thought "Hmm, what are those?" They were pants I bought and never wore because they were too big. Kidding. My ass literally would not fit into them. They still had the tags on them. Intrigued by the prospect of a new pair of jeans, I ripped off the tags, and held them up. "These do NOT look big enough for me," I said to Oliver, who was sprawled out on the end of my bed. Kitty gave me the okay eyes so I tried them on.
To my utter amazement I was able to fit my leg down in there, and then the other leg. "But I'm never gonna be able to shimmy these babies all the way up," I thought. I was wrong. I sucked, snapped and zipped and ran into the bathroom to see myself in the full length mirror. Wow! Tight, but wow. "Some people actually wear their pants this tight - it's doable," I said. But not for me.
Besides, the jeans were probably in my closet a good three years and well, they were ugly - not at all stylish. And let's face it, nobody wants to see the big girl in tight, hideous jeans. Not even the cat.
Standing in my closet, looking for something to wear, I saw a pair of jeans way up on top of a pile of neatly folded clothes and thought "Hmm, what are those?" They were pants I bought and never wore because they were too big. Kidding. My ass literally would not fit into them. They still had the tags on them. Intrigued by the prospect of a new pair of jeans, I ripped off the tags, and held them up. "These do NOT look big enough for me," I said to Oliver, who was sprawled out on the end of my bed. Kitty gave me the okay eyes so I tried them on.
To my utter amazement I was able to fit my leg down in there, and then the other leg. "But I'm never gonna be able to shimmy these babies all the way up," I thought. I was wrong. I sucked, snapped and zipped and ran into the bathroom to see myself in the full length mirror. Wow! Tight, but wow. "Some people actually wear their pants this tight - it's doable," I said. But not for me.
Besides, the jeans were probably in my closet a good three years and well, they were ugly - not at all stylish. And let's face it, nobody wants to see the big girl in tight, hideous jeans. Not even the cat.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
journey to fit - day 13
Okay so I didn't go to the gym Thursday and I didn't go Friday either. I can't make an excuse. Unlike Nike, I just didn't do it.
But I did walk around the mall for five hours today and then I marched myself right over to the gym afterward. My legs are so sore. I even did some crunches on the big bouncy ball.
But I did walk around the mall for five hours today and then I marched myself right over to the gym afterward. My legs are so sore. I even did some crunches on the big bouncy ball.
Friday, April 3, 2009
journey to fit - day 12
Today I was thinking: eating right is a lot like taking medicine. You put the necessary items in your mouth so that you will get better. And you don't think about it. You just do it and move on with your day.
I never would have guessed it would be so hard to increase caloric intake. It's become a mental struggle. My problem is not eating more (clearly). But I am committed right now and I don't want to mess up or make excuses. Like, oh, I can eat this cookie because Heather told me to eat more calories.
The struggle comes from finding enough of the foods that I'm supposed to eat - low carb, high protein. I'm not supposed to worry too much about the fat content.
So there lies the problem. Eating fat. I was eating about 1300 calories and there was NOT much fat content in those calories. There were carbs however. So switching it around scares me. It shouldn't though, because it's not as if eating like that was working for me.
I'm putting my trust in Heather. She told me I had to have faith that it can work for me. I believe it in my heart. I've just got to convince my head.
I never would have guessed it would be so hard to increase caloric intake. It's become a mental struggle. My problem is not eating more (clearly). But I am committed right now and I don't want to mess up or make excuses. Like, oh, I can eat this cookie because Heather told me to eat more calories.
The struggle comes from finding enough of the foods that I'm supposed to eat - low carb, high protein. I'm not supposed to worry too much about the fat content.
So there lies the problem. Eating fat. I was eating about 1300 calories and there was NOT much fat content in those calories. There were carbs however. So switching it around scares me. It shouldn't though, because it's not as if eating like that was working for me.
I'm putting my trust in Heather. She told me I had to have faith that it can work for me. I believe it in my heart. I've just got to convince my head.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
journey to fit - day 11
I'm almost at the two week mark and I'm keeping strong, with the help of Heather. She really keeps me motivated with her enthusiasm and her positive state of mind.
My food choices are staying on track and I'm ready for tomorrow!
My food choices are staying on track and I'm ready for tomorrow!
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
journey to fit - day nine
I hid my scale under the dresser the other day so I wouldn't keep getting on there and getting disappointed by the "down one pound" - "up one pound."
And also because, as we all know, muscle weighs more than fat, so when you gain weight on an exercise program you are gaining muscle. And that should be a good thing. But it wreaks havoc on the good ole psyche. So away with the scale.
But like any addict obsessed with the good stuff, I need it! I need the knowlege that only the scale can give me. Except...except I did take my measurements...
So there I am, ready for the gym, tape measure in hand. I wrap it around the upper thigh and reveal the knowledge I thought I needed so badly. Now I'm wishing I never checked the upper thigh measurement because clearly it's too early to see a change...right?
I've been on this new regimen for a week and a half. When am I going to learn to cut myself some slack? Well, making excuses is what got me to this place, so I am pretty good at cutting myself slack ... and cake ... and big hunks of sourdough bread. But I digress.
The point is I need to find a happy medium in being fair to myself - somewhere between permissive excuse-maker and hardass hammer-down.
After I pushed through that little experiment this morning, I drove over to the gym and had some alone time with Fergie and the elliptical. I left feeling stronger.
And also because, as we all know, muscle weighs more than fat, so when you gain weight on an exercise program you are gaining muscle. And that should be a good thing. But it wreaks havoc on the good ole psyche. So away with the scale.
But like any addict obsessed with the good stuff, I need it! I need the knowlege that only the scale can give me. Except...except I did take my measurements...
So there I am, ready for the gym, tape measure in hand. I wrap it around the upper thigh and reveal the knowledge I thought I needed so badly. Now I'm wishing I never checked the upper thigh measurement because clearly it's too early to see a change...right?
I've been on this new regimen for a week and a half. When am I going to learn to cut myself some slack? Well, making excuses is what got me to this place, so I am pretty good at cutting myself slack ... and cake ... and big hunks of sourdough bread. But I digress.
The point is I need to find a happy medium in being fair to myself - somewhere between permissive excuse-maker and hardass hammer-down.
After I pushed through that little experiment this morning, I drove over to the gym and had some alone time with Fergie and the elliptical. I left feeling stronger.
Monday, March 30, 2009
journey to fit - day eight
Today was a good day. I worked out with Heather and made progress. I was able to do lunges with weights. I'm getting used to the aches and pains because it doesn't bother me as much as the first few days.
I tracked all my calories, carbs, proteins, fat, and fiber. I worked my way up to 1,794 calories (Heather wants me to eat 2,800) and 119 grams of protein (the goal is 185). I wanted to get a carb count suggestion so I looked online and it seems I should have around 130 at minimum. So, today I ate 146 carbs and that seems good considering I was able to increase my calories. Heather says I shouldn't worry about fat grams, but I am not there yet. I try to eat as low fat as possible. Or at least healthy fats high in protein, like nuts and seeds.
I'm committed to go to the gym five days - Monday through Friday. I'll see Heather on Mondays and Wednesdays so the other days I'll do a combo cardio workout for at least 30 minutes. Today I left my earphones at home so it was really tough to get through any cardio after my workout with Heather. I need my music!
I tracked all my calories, carbs, proteins, fat, and fiber. I worked my way up to 1,794 calories (Heather wants me to eat 2,800) and 119 grams of protein (the goal is 185). I wanted to get a carb count suggestion so I looked online and it seems I should have around 130 at minimum. So, today I ate 146 carbs and that seems good considering I was able to increase my calories. Heather says I shouldn't worry about fat grams, but I am not there yet. I try to eat as low fat as possible. Or at least healthy fats high in protein, like nuts and seeds.
I'm committed to go to the gym five days - Monday through Friday. I'll see Heather on Mondays and Wednesdays so the other days I'll do a combo cardio workout for at least 30 minutes. Today I left my earphones at home so it was really tough to get through any cardio after my workout with Heather. I need my music!
Sunday, March 29, 2009
journey to fit - days six and seven
So yesterday I ate more calories, but not good ones. Well they were good because they involved garlic bread, french fries and creamy Greek salad dressing. Granted I didn't "pig out" like in the past, but I definitely ate them.
But that was then and this is now. And today I ate Special K cereal, bunless lean burgers, and cheese. For dinner we'll have salmon and salad. mmmmm.
I'll be going to the gym in a little bit to do a combo workout - not the constant treadmill routine I was doing - walking on the road to nowhere.
Tomorrow I'll work out with Heather. I still have a good attitude toward what she's teaching me and my muscles are working like they haven't in a long time.
But I feel that old familiar feeling of "is this really going to happen for me?" I've been trying for so long that until I actually see it on the scale and in my clothes, I'm skeptical.
But that was then and this is now. And today I ate Special K cereal, bunless lean burgers, and cheese. For dinner we'll have salmon and salad. mmmmm.
I'll be going to the gym in a little bit to do a combo workout - not the constant treadmill routine I was doing - walking on the road to nowhere.
Tomorrow I'll work out with Heather. I still have a good attitude toward what she's teaching me and my muscles are working like they haven't in a long time.
But I feel that old familiar feeling of "is this really going to happen for me?" I've been trying for so long that until I actually see it on the scale and in my clothes, I'm skeptical.
Friday, March 27, 2009
journey to fit - day five
Dear Diary,
Today my new BFF Heather showed me proper form for many new free-weight exercises. She worked out my upper body and lower body. She even let me do more lunges!
I also learned why there are so many mirrors in the boy's room - you need to see what you're doing because it's not like a machine that guides your movement.
I'm not sure why, but my muscles feel every exercise way more than when I used to use the circuit machines.
I haven't felt this energized in a long time. Thanks BFF!
Today my new BFF Heather showed me proper form for many new free-weight exercises. She worked out my upper body and lower body. She even let me do more lunges!
I also learned why there are so many mirrors in the boy's room - you need to see what you're doing because it's not like a machine that guides your movement.
I'm not sure why, but my muscles feel every exercise way more than when I used to use the circuit machines.
I haven't felt this energized in a long time. Thanks BFF!
Thursday, March 26, 2009
journey to fit - day four
Eating 2800 calories is extremely difficult. I can't even get up to 2000! And eating 185 grams of protein is another challenge. I can get up to 125 if I try really hard. This is becoming a big problem because I believe Heather knows what she's doing and if I can't follow her advice then I'm not sure if I can be successful. A little worried.
I am able to follow her advice about exercise though. Instead of walking on the treadmill for 40 minutes, today I upped the speed and incline for 10 minutes, then switched to the elliptical for 10 and then I tried the stair master for 10 - but that didn't work too well. The stair master was too much and I didn't really know how to work it very well. Maybe next time!
I finished up with a good long stretch of my whole body. I felt so good and loose when I left.
Tomorrow I'll see Heather and get advice about my diet. And I'm sure she'll have me do more lunges!
I am able to follow her advice about exercise though. Instead of walking on the treadmill for 40 minutes, today I upped the speed and incline for 10 minutes, then switched to the elliptical for 10 and then I tried the stair master for 10 - but that didn't work too well. The stair master was too much and I didn't really know how to work it very well. Maybe next time!
I finished up with a good long stretch of my whole body. I felt so good and loose when I left.
Tomorrow I'll see Heather and get advice about my diet. And I'm sure she'll have me do more lunges!
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
journey to fit - day three
“You have been weighed. You have been measured. And you have absolutely been found wanting. Welcome to New World. God save you, if it is right that he should do so.”
I continue my quest to understand the foods I should be eating - high in protein and low in carbohydrates. And I also continue to recover from my first set of lunges.
On to the gym!
A Knight’s Tale
Today I measured the parts of my body that I hate the most. So yeah, I measured my whole body. I'm not being down on myself. When I pack on pounds it doesn't happen in only one spot - they're equal opportunity pounds. Speaking of poundage, I weighed myself as well. As unpleasant as all that was to do, I now have a baseline.I continue my quest to understand the foods I should be eating - high in protein and low in carbohydrates. And I also continue to recover from my first set of lunges.
On to the gym!
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
journey to fit - day two
So yesterday was my first visit with my personal trainer. I shared my food journal with her, which she asked me to keep so she could get an idea of my eating habits. I was pretty shocked to hear her say I was not eating enough calories.
I normally try eat 1500-2000 calories a day. She wants me to eat 2800 calories. I added up my total yesterday and it was 1344! I don't know how I'm going to do this.
"Little by little" is what Heather says -- with my diet and with my training.
She took me to a place I have only been once before - the boy's room! No, not that boy's room!! My gym has a big room upstairs that houses the treadmills (my comfort zone), ellipticals, and bikes. Downstairs there's a room with circuit machines ... and then there's the "boy's room." It has LOTS of mirrors (clearly something I do not want to be looking into) and benches and bars and big round heavy doo-dads.
Yes, Heather is suggesting I spend all my time in the boy's room - the weight room. Comfort zone? Not. She might as well suggest I try on bathing suits under the fluorescent lighting while I'm at it!
Anyway, I did three exercises that made my body ache like no machine has ever made me ache. I did some pull down thing that worked the back of my arms; I did a freestanding empty bar lift and then THE worst of all - lunges.
I challenge you right now to get up and lunge back and forth across the floor. I'm talking long strides, dip down low and then feet together. Alternate legs for ten strides. And do that four times. My upper legs hurt so bad I can barely walk up and down the stairs or get up from the chair.
I will have my second meeting with Heather Friday morning. Hopefully, I won't cry out in pain and embarrass myself.
I normally try eat 1500-2000 calories a day. She wants me to eat 2800 calories. I added up my total yesterday and it was 1344! I don't know how I'm going to do this.
"Little by little" is what Heather says -- with my diet and with my training.
She took me to a place I have only been once before - the boy's room! No, not that boy's room!! My gym has a big room upstairs that houses the treadmills (my comfort zone), ellipticals, and bikes. Downstairs there's a room with circuit machines ... and then there's the "boy's room." It has LOTS of mirrors (clearly something I do not want to be looking into) and benches and bars and big round heavy doo-dads.
Yes, Heather is suggesting I spend all my time in the boy's room - the weight room. Comfort zone? Not. She might as well suggest I try on bathing suits under the fluorescent lighting while I'm at it!
Anyway, I did three exercises that made my body ache like no machine has ever made me ache. I did some pull down thing that worked the back of my arms; I did a freestanding empty bar lift and then THE worst of all - lunges.
I challenge you right now to get up and lunge back and forth across the floor. I'm talking long strides, dip down low and then feet together. Alternate legs for ten strides. And do that four times. My upper legs hurt so bad I can barely walk up and down the stairs or get up from the chair.
I will have my second meeting with Heather Friday morning. Hopefully, I won't cry out in pain and embarrass myself.
journey to fit - day one
I've been on a this quest for fitness all of my life. And I've been successful most of the way. But I've been stuck in a rut for several years now.
I don't want to dwell on the past. I just need to focus on "right now." One thing I know for sure is I can't do it alone. I need help. So I decided to make an appointment with a personal trainer and nutritional consultant at my gym.
Enter Heather. She's going to be my new best friend (because I'm paying her to be). She's going to tell me what to do. She's going to show me how to make changes in my diet that will actually work. And she's going to teach me exercises that will change my body.
That sounds so awesome! And I am very optimistic. This is probably the one and only thing I have never tried before. So wish me luck!
I don't want to dwell on the past. I just need to focus on "right now." One thing I know for sure is I can't do it alone. I need help. So I decided to make an appointment with a personal trainer and nutritional consultant at my gym.
Enter Heather. She's going to be my new best friend (because I'm paying her to be). She's going to tell me what to do. She's going to show me how to make changes in my diet that will actually work. And she's going to teach me exercises that will change my body.
That sounds so awesome! And I am very optimistic. This is probably the one and only thing I have never tried before. So wish me luck!
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